All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
