i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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