I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I don't deserve a penis
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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