let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
