does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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