i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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