Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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