I seem to have left my pride at pride
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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