Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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