Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
