There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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