im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
