she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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