After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
