Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
