I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
