remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
