I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize