i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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