Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize