I'm drive I can fine osifer
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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