He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
