with your own penis?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
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