doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
