i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
