Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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