Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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