Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
