It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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