they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
