I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
