I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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