I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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