I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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