I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
