new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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