Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
