Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
