I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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