do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
