where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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