i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
