what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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