I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
