The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Michael Bay diarrhea
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize