If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
barbara walters just said penis...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
