My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Randomize
