Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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