I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
