brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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