More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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