I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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