Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize