If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
