grandma shit on top of the toilet
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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