Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
