Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
