let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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