S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
