I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize