A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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