We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
